I guess that a lot sure has changed ever since last time was writin’ y’all. Things were left off on a bad note with me. I had been goin’ through a phase of some sort and I was dealin’ with a lot of feelings that were pretty hard for me to deal with.
Feelings such as the fact I almost had died because that psycho maenad, Marianne wanted to sacrifice me to some giant meat n’ flower statue thing that was put up in poor Sook’s front yard while she was on vacation.
And the fact I had Bill’s blood an’ that gave me a lot of strange dreams n’ stuff… (don’t wanna go back to that.)
And then, I found my real family and found out that they were trash like I expected. Afterall, who gives up their first-born son for no reason? And a shifter baby, no less, with no understandin’ of what he was or why he was like that.
With all these things that were happenin’ to me, it brought back the darker parts of my life- the ones I’ve kept hidden for so long. And these things made me a mean, nasty person an’ I don’t wanna go back to that.
Then, I found out my parents were usin’ my kid brother in illegal dog fightin’ rings, which was a complete shock. So, I sent them back to Arkansas, an’ I didn’t feel bad about it either, they were awful people and terrible parents.
I let Tommy stay, because I know that I had the power (in a way) to help him have a better life. I helped him out with a place to live, gave him a job, and I could of gotten him a better education if he gave me the chance… But he didn’t. We ended up fightin’ an’ I shot him…
I had shot my kid brother. I mean, I had to do it because that little shit was gonna run off with e’erythin’ that I had. But, I still feel bad because he is my brother. After that – things sure have been different.
I have been in “anger management classes” – which is just nightly meetings with other shifters where we can talk about the fucked up shit that we’ve done. An’ it’s been helpin’ me out a bunch. Tommy’s leg got better ‘n now he’s been stayin’ at Maxine Fortenberry’s house, goin’ to church an’ tryin to be a better person… so he says.
A part of me wants to trust him, ‘n be brothers again – but I ain’t gonna let that little shit play me again. So, I guess we’ll just see where things go, ‘n I will write to y’all soon!
-Sam
From Behind the Bar... 